22 June 2007

Forget Paris

I know I shouldn't care about Paris Hilton. I shouldn't even do her the discourtesy of loving to hate her. But I find myself inexplicably drawn to news about her, and then I get angry again.

For instance, there's this piece from the A.P. this morning, in which a little more than two weeks in to her sentence at the pokey, she claims to have learned a lot. Yet she's frustrated and emotional with visits from her family. "I am behind glass and I want to give my dad a big hug and they won't even let me do that," she said. "I'm not a criminal."

Haven't learned that much, have you sweetie? I'll spare you the complexities of the American legal system, because it makes the brain-baby kick. But, uh, you are a criminal, which is why the judge sentenced you to time in jail. And since your crime was violation of probation, you're actually a two-time criminal. Spend your last few days of solace pondering that, won't you?

And eat a pork chop, sweetie. Most of the country's worried about you.

"You pretend you're high
You pretend you're bored
You pretend you're anything
just to be adored"
-- Garbage, "Stupid Girl"


Maggie said...

Please forget Paris. Let's hear it for Pensacola Beach!

oh wait...you were talking about Paris Hilton.....nevermind. I love her. She's just the kind of woman I can follow.

bandit said...

Maybe she'll get some meat on her bones in jail. The only bones I want to see are T-bones.

Brad Barnes said...

Mmmmm, T-bones...