21 July 2007

Dirty Harry Potter, Book 2

Author J.K. Rowling's filthiness is more brazen in her second Harry Potter book. Even the name is naughty. "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets" indeed...

Let's look at some of her subliminal messages.

* Page 9: "Jiggery pokery!" said Harry in a fierce voice. "Hocus pocus -- squiggly wiggly --" (Jiggery pokery indeed. Brits and their coy euphemisms.)

* Page 102: It was pandemonium. The pixies shot in every direction like rockets. ... Several shot straight through the window, showering the back row... (Very clever of her to use the word "pixies" instead of the "p" word she really intended.)

* Page 186: Harry's Swelling Solution was far too runny, but he had his mind on more important things. He was waiting for Hermione's signal...

* and, on the next page: Goyle's potion exploded, showering the whole class. People shrieked as splashes of the Swelling Solution hit them.

* Page 257: Madam Pomfrey was bending over a fifth-year girl with long, curly hair. ... And on the bed next to her was --
"Hermione!" Ron groaned.
Hermione lay utterly still, her eyes open and glassy.

Mmm-hmmm. Cue the "Chicka-bowww chicka-boww-wowwww." I think you all know what's really going on there. Filthy, filthy Rowling sounds like she needs a good, firm spanking. And just think what'll be happening when the kids grow up a little bit. Stay tuned for excerpts from Book Three, which is called, I think, "Harry Potter and the Naughty Little House Elf."

Pull that thing too hard and you'll go blind, young Potter

1 comment:

a-rod said...

you know that place beyond normal laughing where you are just shaking and silently forcing the remaining air out of your lungs ... that is where i am.