28 December 2007

Tiger tale

In its dying breaths, after being shot for killing a young man at the San Francisco Zoo, a tiger has confessed the reason for the killing: an obsession with Kirsten Dunst and the "Spider-Man" movies.

The tiger's statement was released today by authorities. It expressed regret, saying, in part, that "maybe I took her whole 'Go get 'em, Tiger,' thing a little too literally." Then, with its last breath, the tiger wished the Cincinnati Bengals luck in "trouncing" the Miami Dolphins on Sunday.

The confession quashes speculation that the animal — a 300-pound Siberian named Tatiana — was attempting to being the Cold War anew in retribution for years of imprisonment.


Tomcat said...

I'm not one of these animals over human life types, but I read these three guys may have been taunting the tiger--throwing things, whatever. How stupid do you have to be to play chicken with a tiger?

Brad Barnes said...