09 January 2008

Moronic Moment of the Month*

*brought to you by Seventeen magazine

I know you've had to wait a really long time for the next MMotM. But Seventeen turned out a super-dee-duper double issue for December/January, and it's taken a lot longer to sort out the best of the moronocity. (It certainly wasn't as easy picking a winner as with last month's "Decode your discharge" story.)

The contradictions are wonderful, starting with the double-cover featuring Rihanna. Here she is on the second cover page, saying "I don't like to follow trends as much as I like to follow them." Good advice, no? But what's Seventeen's saying on the outer cover...?

Steal her fashion tricks! Perfect! Sheesh.

Speaking of mixed signals, the cover also exclaims, "Look Pretty Now!" which stands in contrast to the "make peace with your body" segment inside. Then there was this sex-ayyy revelation from Vanessa Hudgens:

Hot. But the most moronic moment comes when the magazine answers a question on the difference between being "turned on" and having an orgasm. They describe an orgasm thusly:

That's right, an orgasm is kind of like a sneeze. Who said there's no such thing as a stupid question, because that right there is a stupid question, friends. Besides, I thought girls learned this stuff at, like 14 nowadays.

There is no hope, people.


Emily, 17 said...

what? I really didn't know what one felt like. but now that I know, my vagina is sneezing all the time.

Brad Barnes said...

careful, or you'll go blind, missy.