03 April 2008

Mommy's little piggy!

"Two dollars for a damn bag of pork rinds!?!" bellows the woman in front of me at the Marathon gas station on Second Avenue. She's already paid for her crunchy pork nubbins, and also a sixer of Bud Ice (at 9:15 a.m. on a Thursday) but waiting for her friend to cash out. I'm behind her friend trying to buy a caffeinated beverage after grabbing some gas. The friend looks like she's never eaten a pork skin — or at least not since she discovered methamphetamines.

Another woman commiserates with the first shopper. "That's how much they cost, isn't it?"

"Yeah, and my mom eats 10 bags a week," says Nubbins. "So that's...." I can almost hear the gears grinding as she's actually trying to perform a mathematical calculation. I'm waiting to see if she comes up with it, but it takes her so long that I've also got time to ponder if "mom" is just the name for this woman's belly. In the end, she can't work it out and never finishes the sentence.

Sometimes I weep for mankind. Thankfully, I was so busy trying to figure out what's $2 times 10 that there was no time for tears.

4 comments:

Jenn said...

What's more horrifying-Petunia's inability to do simple math or the fact that she eats 10 bags of pork rinds a week? I'll have to pray on that.

Allison Kennedy said...

Yeah. ... wow, sounds like you found some local colorful characters!

Brad Barnes said...

Found indeed. Wishing I could lose them again, but the images are seared into my brain. And I didn't even mention the woman in line who kept snorting and talking about how she needed to blow her nose. ... Can't make this stuff up. But I can stick to pay-at-the-pump.

Amanda said...

was this in the lovely Bibb? oh, how I miss it...