11 July 2008

Hate(voice)mail

Wow, that "Friends" column really set someone off. Here's a voicemail I just got, complete with stutter (but not the redneck Southern accent):

"I-I just read your article in this paper — read through it. You know what? You're a moron, and you sound like a queer. You need to stop writin' if this is all you can come up with. You're about an idiot. It pisses me off that they let people like you write stupid sh!t in the paper."

Guess he really hated "Friends." The jackass feller didn't leave his name, of course. But I wonder if they don't realize our voicemail gives us caller ID? Crosses back to a woman's name and address in Alabama. Probably his momma.

Reminds me of my favorite hate mail, in response to a column I wrote about Widespread Panic. One Panic fan said he "wanted to stab my gay Republican ass in the eye with a fork." Never mind that my gay (wrong) Republican (wrong) ass doesn't have eyes. I need to get Will Schaff to do a surrealist portrait of me based on that description.

***
"I'm goin' straight to hell
Just like my momma said
I'm goin' straight to hell."
drivin' n' cryin', "Straight To Hell"

2 comments:

MP said...

Oh the days of hateful voicemails. How I miss the newsroom.

Brad Barnes said...

I couldn't believe a column about "Friends" setting someone off in such a rage. But then, I'm not a homicidal maniac.